A Much Better Day

So after my post yesterday, I just had to tell y'all that today was a MUCH better day. Given, Logan didn't take a nap at all today (first time that he's ever done that). BUT!!! I am very happy to say that it was a great day. I handled everything very well and I just feel great :) Really happy :) :) :)
p.s. Thanks for your comments Melissa! You're awesome :*

Exhaustion

So it's 9:49 at night and my eye lids are already tired. It's amazing how exhausting being a mom is. You know, Today was a hard day. Not that Logan was overly hard, it was just hard on me. I want to start off by saying, I love my son dearly. He makes me so happy and I love him with all my heart. But... by the time I had made him spit crayons out of his mouth for the ump-teenth time and rewound the toilet paper once again. I may or may not have said, "I don't want to be a mom anymore!" I completely didn't mean it of course. It's one of those things that completely slipped out without me thinking. So of course I feel horrible and the look on Logan's face.... (I don't know if he understood EXACTLY what I was saying but I know he could tell a little bit....) It just made me want to cry. For some reason though, I still couldn't pull myself out of the stupid rut I've been in all day today. So of course, even though I would LOVE to lose some weight and be healthy and fit, I made chocolate chip cookies. It's amazing what baking does for the soul. I think I even slightly made up for my little out burst earlier when I snuck Logan some cookie dough and he gave me HUGE kisses and hugs and even a double pat on the back. That made me feel pretty good. It's amazing how even though I screw up and, what I feel like, am the worst mother in the history of the world, Logan forgives me so easily. So when I was putting him to bed tonight, I just had to hold him after he fell asleep and kiss his sweet little chubby cheeks and whisper to him how sorry I am and how kind he is and how sweet and loving. I guess what I'm trying to say is that being a mom is hard! Like I knew it would be hard, but I could have never guessed how hard. It's the most rewarding and emotionally taxing job in the universe!!!!!!!!! I see mom's out there that seem so put together and openly love their kids and have them with them all the time etc etc etc. I have to just keep telling myself that they have bad days too and I only see the good. I'm just glad that kids are so forgiving and that a little bit of cookie dough can make up for unintentional harsh words.

Ikea

So we went to Ikea today. Ikea was awesome. I mean, have YOU been to IKEA?! If yes, you know what I'm talking about. It was amazing. I wish I had a billion dollars so I could have an entire Ikea house. Oh wait, I would probably only need 1/100 of that so $100,000 since everything at Ikea is so inexpensive. Yes, that much would get me more then enough for an Ikea house. We needed some drinking glasses. (I've had such bad luck breaking all of my dishes lately. Instead of having a full set, we have 3 of everything now. Not to mention the Bed Bath and Beyond drinking glasses that break when you look at them (yes, they are that fragile)). Ikea has the greatest glasses ever. They are $.59 and have lasted us the best. (I bought 4 more). I had to hold myself back from buying a bunch of stuff. Logan loved the childrens part of Ikea. He found himself an awesome bunk bed and played with the toys under it.

Yah, we know which bed he's going to be getting when he's older. Now after wandering through the maze that is Ikea, you check out and then, you HAVE to go to the food court. No, not the resturant with their famous Swedish Meatballs, I'm talking the little food market after the self checkouts. The one that beckons you near with their chocolate bars and foreign delicacies. (Cookies and Crackers etc) There, YOU CAN GET 2 HOTDOGS, CHIPS and A DRINK for $2.50. THAT's LESS THEN SAM'S CLUB! Yah, I like food. not only that but we also got 3 bars of chocolate and 1/2 dozen cinnamon rolls. (yes, there goes my diet but it was delicious) We ended up spending more on the food then we did on our other purchases. Anyway that was my day, along with severe rain/wind storms and tornados. You know, what seems to be the usual for Bmore these days.

 OH! Before I go, I HAVE to share something with you. It's amazing. You know that stubborn dust that seems to collect on blinds or on bottles in the bathroom etc.? Use a drier sheet. Yes, the ones that you put in the laundry with your clothes. It takes it right off and best of all, you don't have to wipe up anything afterwards because the sheet catches it all. Try it! Try it now! I DARE YOU!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Yah, I couldn't think of a title for this post so I just wrote what was on my mind. Logan and I went to the pool today, again. I think I got a little reddish (not burned, just... tender) and also left with a rash (chlorine?) who knows or maybe it's from the sun. I finally figured out how to still get me time in the sun and have a great time with Logan. So, I go on a walk with Logan almost around the time he naps so he falls asleep in the stroller. I don't go to far from home on the walk so that the second he shuts those eyes I book it for home, change into my swim suit, grab the towels, floaty, sunscreen, swim diapers, flip flops, keys and of course, a book for myself. Today, the book was Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball. I read it when I was in high school and decided it was about time I read it again. I made it to the pool, checked in and found an open lounge chair where I could strategically place the stroller as to not have Logan in the sun. I spread my towel out, took off my shorts and tank top (I was wearing a swimsuit... promise) and settled down for some "me" time by the pool. It was great... Logan was sleeping, the sun was shining, there was a soft breeze (not to hot, not to cold), a good book, sounds pretty great right? Oh, it was. Other than the young child and his teenage(?) sister who was at the pool. The little boy was fine but of course the girl had to have her giant blowup floaty (Not Allowed (sorry, pet peeve) (yes, I'm one of those people)). Not only was she one of those people who wish to be in the pool and not get wet, but she is also the person who has to call her mother, on speaker phone, to complain about her brother. "Ma, (insert name here) keeps splashing. He drug me to da poool and i candt afford da get more tanner. He can but I candt. Tell him ma that its time ta ged owt." (Inaudible answer due to my location to the speaker on the phone. You know, that annoying place where you're to close to where you can hear the person speaking but not close enough to be able to eavesdrop on the entire conversation) Yah, it went on like that for a while. Thankfully a near parked car's car alarm went off right in the middle of it. Logan did wake up. Really surprised me. Anyway, it was nice when all that went away and I could just focus on my book for the next hour till Logan woke up. We had a great time in the pool. He is starting to want to be out of his floaty more than in it and he is very stubborn when he knows what he wants. He had a blast walking back and forth on the stairs and I of course had a great time walking back and forth with him (making sure not to hold his hand because he wouldn't have that) and just waiting for him to trip and go under and DROWN! Didn't happen of course and he did really well. He keeps getting more brave with water. Can't tell if that's good or bad for his age since he already is VERY brave with it. Yah, that lasted for another hour and thankfully, it wore him out enough that he went to sleep a half hour early tonight. 

I can't believe how big he is. He use to be so little. I mean, I birthed this kid. He use to make me so tired that I would wake up in the middle of the night when he would cry and thinking I was feeding him would realize after who knows how long that I was instead attempting to breast feed a pillow. Now, he just makes me tired in the middle of the day and... oh I don't even know what crazy stuff I do anymore. I feel like my brain is constantly running and tripping over its self. Anyway, that was my day. Pretty good. OH! I was growing peas... because I'm a farm girl and I wanted fresh peas... yah, the plants seem to have gone rotten. Joy... Oh well, Frozen peas for me then. :) Worth a try. 

Now to leave you with a smile.

Yah, I'm kinda into Parks and Rec right now.

Summer Time

We have a pool at our complex and oh how we LOVE it! Logan is a little fish. We have been taking advantage of the pool last week and now that I'm sitting inside I feel a little bit guilty for missing it. It's okay though, we will take advantage of it, hopefully, tomorrow.

Can you see how frumpy my little guy looks? Well, he's still adorable, but he needed a hair cut obviously to look like a little boy again. So, after much work....

TA DA!!!!

Doesn't he look so much cuter?! So much more like a little boy then I could have ever imagined. (I was slightly worried he would look bald but alas, he doesn't) :)
Logan has grown so much! We went and played at a park today with some friends from our ward and he climbed all over the playset and went down some slides. Given, most of the time was spent handing me little handfuls of bark or putting sticks in his mouth but we had a great time! It's nice to get out of the house and talk with other women.
We are hoping we will be able to come home this summer. It would be VERY nice but unfortunately we don't know what this summer has in store for us. With work, research, etc etc etc. Ah, such is life. :P 

Now, here is something funny to leave with you and words to live by: 

Friends

Disney and Andrew, our friends from Logan, came out and visited after they went and vacationed in North Carolina. WE HAD A BLAST! I love when people come visit. They were only in town for 3 days. Arrived Tuesday and we went to the inner harbor. Logan was attacked by Asian grandmas. They were picking him up, kissing his cheeks, taking pictures and trying their darnest to make him smile and look at them while they did all these things. They even made ME take a picture of them with my son. I don't know what it is, I don't see them doing it to any other babies. I have come to the conclusion that it must be that he is so blonde, white and handsome. He seriously looks like a little surfer dude. Wednesday we went to DC and the DC temple. That was a blast. We walked about 5 miles+ but it was worth it. Thursday they were leaving so we just went to subway and the best Italian Ice place on the east coast. RITA'S! Well we dropped them off at the airport, said goodbye and halfway back home got a call that their plane didn't leave till tomorrow. So we turned around and waited while they got it all sorted out. Delta found seats for them so they ended up leaving that day anyway. DARN! I wish I would have just said, "Stop worrying and get in the car. You're coming back with us for another day." I have regretted not saying that for the past week. We had such an amazing time with them. So, WHO WANTS TO COME VISIT?! :)

THEY'RE HERE!!!!!!!

 
   The only picture of the asians I was able to   get. :(

 
SAVED YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

Having a blast with Andrew

He never smiles for at the camera for me. Little     Goofball

View of the Inner Harbor. My favorite place in MD

DC Temple. It's very pretty and saw some other fellow Aggies there. 

The first family on the Balcony. Yah, that's right Obama. I still got a picture of you even though you closed off the viewing area of the white house. oh yah, I know how to use my zoom button. >:)
Me and Disney in front of the capital. 

Best Photo Bomb ever!!!!! Can you tell we're a little tired and my hair is flat from the humidity? 

Goodbye till next time my friend :) Loved having them here. 

The adventure group. 

Pregnancy

I've been feeling a lot of pressure lately to have another child. Not from anyone in particular but just from a lot of people in general. I feel like everyone is having a second kid or having a baby.Well guess what....

I DON'T THINK SO WORLD!!!!!!!!!!

I feel perfectly happy with just Logan.

Movie Trailer

Ok, so this is a weird movie. It's called Moonrise Kingdom but I love it. I love the aritstic way that it's filmed and even though the story line is pretty different it's a good different. I suggest watching it. It's a fun one to watch when you have nothing else to do.

I hate good looking moms

Ok, I am going to apologize now for anything I say that may upset anybody. Gosh dang it do I hate cute looking moms. Seriously, where in the crap do you find time to do your hair, pick out an outfit that actually looks good on your new mom body, put on shoes and... oh look... you showered too. Well congratulations. I showered today. Oh you can't tell? Well I did. I promise. Yes, this is only the second time I've worn these pants this week. I am caught up on the laundry... not on myself but the laundry yes. This nail polish was touched up yesterday. I know it doesn't look like it but yes, there wasn't a chip in it before I did the dishes. I think I will just avoid the newly cleaned handprint free mirror for the day.
I follow some blogs of moms and I'm not going to lie, I am really growing to dislike all of these people. One I knew in high school (cheerleader, you know the type) and it's always a new outfit, perfect makeup, perfect hair. Another, a freakin' bodybuilder bikini model. I'm lucky I shaved my legs today!
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother. I love my son so much. I just want some style and feel good about myself again. Until then though, all you moms out there had better watch out because I swear if I meet you in a dark ally your cute outfit will not make it out alive.

Spring

feelin' these songs

Had an amazing day with Logan today. Played outside and had a picnic, went for a walk (which he fell asleep during) went out on the patio and blew bubbles. Logan blew bubbles all by himself for the first time today. Given, most of the bubble solution wound up on his head and all over my legs and hands but it was a good experience and one of those moments that will be in my mind I hope forever. I got to go to the gym as well (yes, I need to get my butt back into shape) and ran for 30 minutes. I wish I hadn't screwed up my knee is high school. I would love to run a marathon but seeing as how it's painful to just run 3 miles... we will see if I ever strengthen my knee enough. It was nice to go and sweat and just run. I love how warm it is. It was a toasty 85 degrees here today (and of course humid) and I loved it. If I could, and if I could handle chasing Logan out of the dirt and away for garbage that long, I would stay outside all day. I wish the pool was open but I don't think it opens for another month. I am looking forward to seeing how Logan does in the water. I'm not worried about him not liking it at all cause he loved it last year and even blows bubbles in the bathtub and puts his whole face in. (that's right, I'm raising the next Michael Phelps) I am just excited to see what he can do in a big pool and how happy he will be :). He was so good today and we had so much fun. Gosh I'm glad winter is out-a-here. I was done with being cooped up inside all day. ONTO SPRING!

Nervous

So I know this is silly but I am so nervous...  My little boy has to go to the Cardiologist on Tuesday. We have two appointments that day which include an echo and whatever else they are going to do. The doctor said she could hear a murmur the last two appointments. She could even tell which area of his heart it was so it's a pretty big one. I'm just hoping that it's nothing worse. I just don't want anything to happen to my little boy. I know I'm probably over reacting but it's so hard to see your kids go through things and to know that they are going to get poked and examined and you hope it's nothing worse. You never want to imagine your kid like that. It would kill me to see him hurt or hooked up to machines. It just seems so much more real now that it's only a few days away.  I knew that this appointment was coming for over a month... but now it's real. Before it was there, written on the calender next to our dinner schedule. Now it's on the week. Now as soon as I turn that page from March to April, it will be right there. Staring me in the face. I don't want to have to go to this appointment alone. I don't want to sit there, trying to hold onto a squirming one year old and hoping that there is nothing wrong with him all by myself. Hopefully I wont have to. We will see.
On a happy side note, we went on a trip to Philadelphia last Thursday to Sunday. I love going and learning more about history and art. I got to stand inches away from monet, degas, turner, picasso, rodin, and van gogh. Oh when I turned that corner and saw that monet. I really wanted to cry. He's one of my biggest art Heros. You really can't appreciate it through pictures like you can in real life. The layers of colors and paint and the artists hand that I had never really noticed before. That was amazing. The steps of the museum was also where the famous rocky scene was shot with him running up the stairs. There is a statue there and some random guy said he would take our picture for us. After he did he said he was homeless and doing it for tips... I said, sorry, I don't have any money on me. After a run-in with a homeless guy in downtown Baltimore, I don't feel guilty saying no. Besides the Philadelphia Museum of Art we also went to the Philadelphia zoo (which Logan loved) and spent an entire day wandering the city of Philadelphia and looking for history things. We saw Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, Carpenters Hall, Penns Landing, Washington square (A tomb of an unknown soldier of washingtons army. and it was a mass grave yard for other people and turned into a park) Benjamin Franklins printing shop and post office. The printing shop was my favorite. We bought a hand printed Declaration of Independence as well as a couple of Franklins famous quotes like the political cartoon of the Snake "don't tread on me".  It was a blast. On the way home we decided to stop off at Valley Forge and check that out. Pretty neat stuff.

A pretty peacock. 

Me licking the liberty bell

Logan insisted on walking up ever single stair of the art museum. My little Rocky 

He loves Elephants. One of the things he does sound for

The first Monet I saw

I think I could replace the "Thinker" don't you?

a whole year!!!

so Logan turned one in December! that year flew by fast. I was going through all of my pics and i happened upon all of these :)

 Look how much my lil man has grown!!!! Today he went down the slide at the Bounce House all by himself. (and this wasn't a wimpy slide either. it was big! i enjoyed going down it even and had to, many times i add, cary logan up the ladder to go down it. Logan is almost 15 months. my little baby is gone and someone switched him out with a little boy.

untitled

New Favorite Song, 2 of my favorite vocalists.







Miss You

Music and V-day

So I got to say, I love turning on Pandora and dancing around the house with my boy Logan. He's got some good rhythm. He spins and bounces up and down, jumps, and taps his little feet. It's also nice to be able to turn off the tv for an hour a day.  

Yes, I have kind of gone through a Johnny Cash thing. I think a lot of that has to do with me watching "Walk the Line". Awe for a love like Johnny and June's. 

My little guy has grown so much! He is starting to say "Fish" "Car" "Hot" "Ball/Bear" and makes the elephant sound. He recognizes dogs but hasn't figured out the word yet. He loves kicking balls. He isn't much into throwing it but he loves to pick it up and run... maybe he'll play soccer or rugby. Who knows. I just can't believe how much he's grown in the past year from when he was born. Logan and I have been up to a lot of fun things lately. We went to the Ravens super bowl parade two tuesdays ago. Me and my friend Lorry packed up our three kids and walked 1 1/2 to 2 miles to the metro, braved the crowds with two large strollers and went to see our team. We made a sign that said, "We love Pitta and his wife!" unfortunately Dennis was on the other side of the parade and didn't get to see it. It's fun knowing a player. I'm excited to see their little boy when they have him and bring him back to Maryland. Last week Logan and I went to a bounce house with some other kids, next day we went and decorated cookies with some other women (and man did we decorate cookies! Lorry made TONS of delicious sugar cookies) then we went to a valentines party and I was an awesome mom and made Logans valentines and a valentine box. So I have eaten a lot of sugar due to Valentines day. That's ok, workout rebegins this week.

See how many cookies?!

YUM!

I have more pictures but they are on my phone and I have no idea how to get multiple pictures off. Oh well :) 

Update

So we got back from our trip to Utah a couple of weeks ago. It was so nice and so well needed. I unfortunately didn't get to see everyone that I wanted to. Family took up a lot of the little time that we had.
   It's how I've been feeling and its the one that  is speaking to me lately. Now if only there was a song called "its because of you I can't listen to country music anymore" that one would speak to me. I think it would be a sad romantic country song.  One where it starts off about listening to country in the car, true real love, and then having it all go away and ending up with a stanza like if I could I would press rewind so I could listen to country again.
On a different note, Logan and I had a blast yesterday eating lunch on the balcony. We had a peanut butter and honey sandwich. I actually felt like a great mom yesterday! It's nice when you're not kept up all day inside watching tv feeling like a lazy bum. Love my little blond hair blue eyed boy.